Dating Someone With BPD: Boundaries, Respect, Love And More

These emotions may also drive the person with BPD to make some irrational and damaging decisions. Dealing with this can be difficult and painful, especially if you bear the emotional brunt. A therapist will help you understand and assess the decisions made concerning emotional situations. They will help you understand that all events are not inherently bad or good, stabilizing your emotional responses. A person with BPD may experience happy periods and events for much longer and more intensely than others. However, the opposite is also true, and in low periods they may feel depressed for longer and more intensely.

Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental disorder that affects how you feel about yourself and other people. It also causes problems in carrying out normal day-to-day activities. People with BPD have a negative self-image, find it difficult to control emotions, and have a series of unstable relationships. Quickly changing emotions may also contribute to the relationship cycle.

Get matched with a professional, licensed, and vetted therapist in less than 48 hours. When you start to feel overwhelmed, this exercise can help you quickly rein in stress. Well, as we all know, love is never that simple.

Signs and Symptoms

Your partner’s sensitivity is frequently caused by BPD. Forgetting this and blaming yourself for your partner’s behavior can be harmful to your mental health as well as their treatment. You have no influence over the behavior or actions of another person. People with BPD tend to have short, intense relationships.

What does BPD feel like in a relationship?

He finds some excuse to blame her and leaves the relationship. Things went downhill from there and Marc started to regularly devalue Rita in an attempt to push her to give in more, and also because he was mad that she dared defy him. Exhibitionist narcissist Marc fell hard for Rita. She appeared to be everything he wanted in a woman. She came from a classy, wealthy family, was petite and pretty, and had a great body. Everything was fine until they were dressing to go to a party with his friends for the first time.

Yet Oumaya and colleagues suggest that men and women actually engage in a similar rate of self-harm behavior, which includes cutting, bruising, head-banging, and biting. The mysteries of this complex personality disorder may never end. If you or someone you know is in immediate distress or is thinking about hurting themselves, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988or chat at

Their relationship end up as tragically unsatisfied. You’re just setting yourself up for failure when you’re trying to do something to win. BE a person that demands self-respect and you’ll naturally influence those around you to treat you with respect as well as the boundaries you set for yourself.

Science Education Use these free digital, outreach materials in your community and on social media to spread the word about mental health. Digital Shareables Use these free education and outreach materials in your community and on social media to spread the word about mental health and related topics. There are no medications that specifically treat borderline personality disorder. In some cases, medications are recommended to help with co-morbid conditions, such as anxiety and depression.

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Hey Rick, I wholeheartedly agree with what you said. A lot of us don’t know anything about BPD and we do play right into it. I downloaded your book and found it very insightful, not only for borderline relationships, but any relationship. So many guys try to be “nice” and “perfect” and don’t understand why that doesn’t work in a relationship. So I am shaking off the bad feelings and the financial mess of the last year, licking my wounds and assimilating the lessons learned, and enjoying the summer doing what I want to do.

In the case of schizoid personality disorder, the child’s upbringing leaves the child feeling unsafe with other human beings and unprepared to be in intimate relationships later in life. If you live with BPD, you may notice you overthink a lot, especially in romantic relationships. For instance, if you sense a shift in your partners feelings, you may start to panic and overthink about whether they will break up with you. Instead of focusing on the thoughts, focus on the emotions you feel.

Substantial research estimates that between 40% – 70% of adults with BPD survived some type of sexual abuse during their childhood. It’s not believed that childhood sexual abuse is the sole cause of BPD. However, it is widely accepted that when combined with other risk factors, CSA is likely an important risk factor. Sexual abuse can cause life-long complications in relationships. People with BPD can look for signs that their romantic partner is smothering them, which can also lead to them withdrawing emotionally and physically from the relationship. That can present obvious problems in a relationship, especially when you’re just getting to know someone and have no idea where things are heading.

I am sorry for those who are “victims” of a BPD, but imagine being the sufferer. BPD is an incredible illness to suffer through. There is a very real reason for our suicide rates being so high. And a lot of these comments are very triggering. It scares me to think of how many forums like this ultimately caused some of those suicides.

Therapy that helps people with BPD understand the perspectives of others can also be a way to strengthen relationships. Relationship difficulties are a hallmark of BPD, but that doesn’t mean people with BPD can’t have fulfilling relationships. Symptoms of BPD are a result of efforts to cope with the constant emotional pain many people with BPD live with. Symptoms of BPD vary between people and can fluctuate over time. Some people experience many symptoms, while others experience only a few.

I worry about him but he does seem to always land on his feet. He made no real effort to fight for me or us and just said he knew he was rotten to the core and I deserve better. I don’t think people with BPD are essentially bad, selfish but not bad. But I’ve so much sympathy for anyone in any sort of relationship copsasity withthrm. It’s easy to confuse the behavior of a BPD with Narcissistic personality disorder. I believe though, that the difference is that the BPD person actually does care and love, where as the narcissistic person is not capable.